Epilogue

The polaroids and book made for this project are now part of an exciting exhibition of work from UCA Farnham graduates, please come and see us -

www.objectifshow.com

www.free-range.org.uk

The private view is tomorrow night from 7 - 10pm

Saturday 3rd April

Today I gave you

the keys to where you live

that, naive me, I had been keeping,

holding on to something,

that is yours now

What was once ours

but if I just sit here and weep, I'll be blown over by the slightest of breeze

Friday 2nd April

a beautiful day,
you are not often outside

pulled the weeds

from your patio

your weeds

the patio

but I will not be doing this for much longer

Thursday 1st April

the real air is in the salt
by the sea
we walked
we picked up any ones with holes in them and //
you said some looked like ears
i said some looked like elephants

it sort of felt right, thinking about how they had broken

in different places

they had broken

Wednesday 31st March

a little late in the day


but its so true, that no one ever does it but you




so I bleached your toilet today, properly,

despite the silly distance I pour from in the picture

Tuesday 30th March

I didn't want to

a pointless pound







don't know if it was a pointless
I was paying your fine today

I was taking the blame

I was losing my edge

the thing is this has all been : not enough

this has all been : too much

Monday 29th March

it has been drab
drizling,

but I knew you were coming, just for an hour, maybe two

so waiting by the ticket machine, until you had found a parking space, putting coins in the machine for you,

hoping your afternoon isn't as drab as this drizzle

Sunday 28th March

Just popped in, end of the night, end of a weekend, thought I'd just wipe the tables down,

one less thing before you can call it a night, one small thing
for you

Saturday 27th March

at the top of that steep hill,

with beautiful light,

beautiful viewsvinegar stinging, stinking on my hands, I cleaned the window for you, let a little more light in

Friday 26th March

...you so obviously hate wating, feeling anxious beforehand
so I came to the dentists before you arrived, and sat with you while you waited.

despite having your best interests at heart, you felt even more awkward with a photograph,

even though

maybe you hadn't realised

i was virtually blocking any view of you

Thursday 25th March

you didn't sleep until today, well,

this morning

you slept in my bed

Wednesday 24th March

a few minutes
waiting for it to burn
some things I thought you would want hear, things that I feel something for, that you will, I hope

Tuesday 23rd March

came to see if you needed some help today

an extra pair of hands

building a delicate glass structure with you

I kept worrying about how long it'll last

Monday 22nd March

Rain, stomach aches,
waiting where you have to walk, to and from,

the same place everyday

the rainy days will be more so, now

but I had been thinking

you need it

I will walk without it, everytime it rains, now

it was slightly inconvenient

that the alley was so small

that the umbrella was so big

but we laughed

and then you walked away, not much warning

Sunday 21st March

a strange picture in the end,

we stood so close
and touching hands



for your sunday afternoon
one with fruit, one with chocolate

the crosses

like kisses for you

Saturday 20th March

a lot has been changing recently
with you

I cannot get a good scan of this,

I will do it again

but I washed up all the stuff, it was piling up

I know you don't like doing it

and so you don't

so I did

Friday 19th March

today I did a poor job of painting your toe nails
and my hair got in front of the lens

but nevertheless
it is Friday, and it made

a good end to the week

a good start to the evening

Thursday 18th March

I knew it had been a long day
for you
carried your bag,

but I don't know what difference this made

You didn't want to be in the picture with me,
there was a bit of a hurry, not to impose

a bit worrying for our bigger picture

Thursday 18th March

Wednesday 17th March

this walk
so often
the same walk

today I tried to make it a bit different,

a nice thing to do with you

with someone on their way

a nice thing to think about

stop

hop don't walk

Tuesday 16th March

was a bit of a weird one



today all I did for you was turn up, and be the one in front of the camera, instead of behind it

but you said that was what you wanted

so I guess it feels a bit uncomfortable for me, but it was ok

I took one for you

and you took one for meand that's all we shared today

Monday 15th March

Stay still for a second, while I..

well I think I'd remembered you saying it'd fallen off..

I think I might have been there when it happened even

I sewed your button back on for you today

Wanted it to be different this time,

so instead of that old black

I

use

a

gold

thread

reminded me of your gold hair

-Intermission-

I went to look at your 'art bin'

it was quite difficult, but good, to think about what I want to throw away

In the end, I took a photograph to put in, a gesture which you won't feel personally

not like many of the others

but a gesture nevertheless

I didn't give any warning before throwing it in the bin, so you missed me, I think you missed it, at least you said something like that

Sunday 14th March

you gave me a call, and I said I'd ring you back,

needed a second,

was about to catch the bus, you didn't know I was on my way to you

Rang you back

Rang your doorbell

Ran your bath,

for all the baths you have run for me over the years,

Saturday 13th March

You let me tie your laces for you today,
maybe when you let me, when you listen, it's actually something for me

from you

but I did want to do something,
even if it was for me
even when you were embarrassed about your shoes

didn't matter

even though those laces didn't stay tied for long..

Friday 12th March

I decided, that you can have my orange tree

she is happy there,

south

facing

window

sun

I think it is for the best,

as I left, it rained on my photograph, but it has not tainted it

the tree will be happy there

I thought about writing you a letter, explaining this.

But then I realised that you will know that you can have her, when you read this

Thursday 11th March

Today will be the last time I am here, I hope
it takes us all a while, so I know that some days, the little things matter,

Today I laid the dining table for you
the one I sat at, I shared with you...for many months.

Sometimes here everything felt wrong, I tried to reassure you
and myself
but it just seemed horribly uncomfortable

A time came for me to move

different stages, a kind of moving on

Wednesday 10th March

Sat with you, for an hour or so.. You said you would be going home tomorrow with any luck,

You were doing well getting back on your feet, used to stairs and walking again

So, today was hopefully your last day here, before you can get back to what you know and where you want to be. I stayed 'til it started getting dark.

Then it was time we said goodbye.

Tuesday 9th March

I remember hearing it somewhere, some terrible film I thought was cool at the time,

they said that it becomes typical, everyday,

so much so,

as simple as a cheese sandwich,

I love You

i Love you

i Love You

I love YOU

I LOVE YOU

Lots of people didn't have time for me today, but you did.

I didn't have time for lots of people, but time for you

To make you that sandwich

Maybe it shouldn't be as simple as a cheese sandwich.
Anyway, you were pleased because it'd do for your supper.
You also said I was a bit cheesy, which made me laugh ... I don't think you realised what you'd done there..

Monday 8th March

You sat slightly in front of me, two steps down

Today I combed your hair, for five, six minutes, pulling through the knotted bits

talking about some things you wanted to talk about, you want to straighten out
I did not have any answers for you, but this is what I could do for you today

It's a while later now, and I cannot escape you, memories staring me in the face as I try to move on, as I tried to comb the knots out of your hair,

Sunday 7th March

Took you somewhere you hadn't been to before

It was windy and cold

and you didn't want to learn from me today

Saturday 6th March

Today I walked, until I found you

Wasn't sure I was headed for the park but that is where you were today

So I stayed with you, pushing Hope on the Swings

Grey but good,

that was your Saturday

Friday 5th March

Nothing I could have done today really would have helped, and I didn't want to be thinking about anyone else,

I wanted to 'do', but nothing for anyone could've made much difference,

So, I took this for you,

I didn't have any words, and I hope that's okay, just all I could do

was take a photo for you

Thursday 4th March

I knew you were quite busy, wanting to do some work,
Today I gave you my seat
Soon after the next stop, plenty of people had left the carriage

and I moved away from you

Wednesday 3rd March

I walked you to the station,
It's always nice to walk with someone, I think.

Well...

I guess that's just from a personal point of view,
but I hope you do too

I'd like to say that this is all I can show of today, that photography can't say anything about you or me, walking


but
really I just managed to completely lose the film in the process of moving it from one polaroid back to another. Despite no coprehension of when/how..

sevenoutoften shots..

it still says something for today, maybe

Tuesday 2nd March

Wanted to get moving today,

I pumped your bike tyres today, even though you didn't have a lot of time,
and all that I knew, is moving away from me

Monday 1st March

Today felt like the first day, it probably won't stay this nice, but I knew you felt the same as well

for a few weeks, you don't think about it coming to an end, because it's not too close,

you can't feel it

Well today we felt it, so did the snowdrop

Today you were my first day of Spring